Tuesday, September 17, 2013

A (crazy) week in the life . . .

This post was written on Monday, August 19, one week after our return from Mississippi. I forgot to post it then! A month removed from the situation we are able to say we saw the Lord's hand in it, and so I have added a reflection at the end.


By the amount of snuggles we are receiving, amount of medicine we are administering, and number of hours we are not sleeping, I would say we are in the midst of a very memorable week. I'll fill you in.

We arrived home from a trip to MS on Monday with a week of catching up ahead of us. Josiah went in for his well visit on Wednesday. Sarah went to the pediatric cardiologist on Thursday.

Thursday night is when things got crazy. Sarah had been saying her tooth hurt since the evening before. I assumed it was a new tooth (there is always something new to come through, right?), so when we got home Thursday evening I pulled out a flashlight and took a look. Much to my amazement, her sweet little mouth was covered with blisters. Ouch!

The next morning I called the doctors' office and talked to a sweet nurse about hand, foot, mouth disease. We talked about what to expect and how to help relieve the symptoms. She warned that it is highly contagious, so Josiah was already exposed. I hung up and prepared for the days ahead.

Little did I know what was coming. From Friday to Sunday Sarah ate nothing aside from a bite here or there that would send her into hysterics and subsequently be spit out. She could drink some water from a skinny straw, thankfully. Her checks got swollen and she had to learn to sleep on her back and not suck her thumb. At first, she was afraid to go to bed. Twice she was thirsty and drank water, only to have it come right back out.

My heart hurt so bad watching her go through this. Sometimes she would graze her face on something and just burst into tears. She would want to eat, but what sounded good to her tummy brought incredible pain. She would want to snuggle, but could only put her forehead on my chest. I think in some ways her little bubble has been burst. She knows pain now. She knows restraint.

Thankfully, this morning she was able to eat. She hasn't been waking up crying as she naps. I think she has passed the worst of it.

Unfortunately, Josiah is just getting started. His HFM journey started with a diaper rash Saturday night. In addition to this awful rash, he has gotten sores on his hands and feet and we think a few in his mouth, though we haven't been able to get in to see them. I don't think he is in as much pain as Sarah was, but he is so confused. Last night he was up from 1-4 a.m. and just didn't want to be left alone or succumb to sleep. I don't think he has passed the worst of it yet, but we hope it won't last long.

Tonight will just be one week since we returned from our vacation. Maybe week two we will be able to say things are back to normal!


Just before our trip to Mississippi I took Sarah in for her first trip to the dentist. (Aside: we met the dentist and hygienist that day, but had to schedule another appointment for the cleaning once we had paperwork from the cardiologist.) We met the kind hygienist and one of the first things she asked was if Sarah sucked her thumb or the pacifier. Somewhat taken aback, I said thumb, but not that often. I then had the exact same back and forth with the dentist. He said that it was taking a toll on her mouth and would have to be addressed at some point, but didn't have to be pressed right away.

At that point I started really watching Sarah's thumb sucking. While it mostly happened as she was falling asleep or when she was overwhelmed, it was happening much more often than I realized. I talked to her about not sucking it and quickly found that she wasn't to be reasoned out of the habit. I was a little distraught, but at a loss. Dave noted that if the dentist said not to press it, maybe we should just let it be. So we let it go.

Then the hand, foot, mouth happened. It was miserable. Her mouth was covered in painful sores. She couldn't suck her thumb.

As the children recovered I began to notice a change- Sarah hadn't gone back to sucking her thumb. As hard as it was, she had weaned herself when her mouth had the sores. The virus was so hard, but not all for naught.

I think that for me this is an instance where I can look back and see that I was called to WAIT. I didn't want to wait. I wanted to attack the problem and develop a solution. Logically, I didn't want Sarah's mouth to get worse. But look at what the Lord did so much better than I could have done?! He took care of the problem that I couldn't solve. He is good, all the time!

Monday, September 16, 2013

Letting Go (aka, the point of parenting)

Sarah had her very first night of AWANA on Friday. It was parents night, so I got to stay for the first half of her class and Dave and Josiah met us when it was time to pick her up. This was a big day for Sarah, but it might have been an even bigger day for Dave and me.

This was the first time we left her at church. Now don't get me wrong, Sarah goes to nursery and Sunday School. She stays with babysitters every so often. And she loves it when other people put her to bed. But AWANA was different. This was the first time we left her under the instruction of someone else. She was expected to learn and be part of the group. She was on her own.

I have a confession: I was nervous, at least in part, for the wrong reasons. I wanted people to like the pastor's kid. I wanted them to think I have done a good job training her at home. I want them to like having her in their class. While she is a reflection on us, I can't put that pressure on her. I have to let her be.

I also have to let her go. Another confession, as we went into the classroom and Sarah sat down on a carpet square I sat next to my friend Jessica who is the mom of a second year cubbie (what they call the preschool children). And then I started to cry (and laugh, because I knew I was being a little ridiculous). I told her it was just a little overwhelming to be here and Sarah was growing up and I wasn't sure she was ready and I wasn't sure if I was ready but I knew I had to be ready because it was time. My sweet friend reassured me that I wasn't (too) crazy and that a few tears were normal.

I am learning to remember the big picture. We aren't training Sarah to be obedient and kind so that we can enjoy her forever. We are training her in the hopes that she will enjoy the Lord forever. And we make purposeful decisions about when and why to let her go. This year that means AWANA, a program that embraces the infallibility of Scripture and helps little ones hide the Word in their hearts. That is a good thing.

Sarah was excited about AWANA all summer and then a little nervous about it last week leading up to the big night. On Friday she was unsure, but never turned back. She kept squinting her eyes and pursuing her lips like she was being really thoughtful anytime someone spoke to her. Sweet thing was nervous and so brave. Precious :) By the end of the night she definitely felt in the club and like she was part of something special. She asked to wear her vest Saturday morning and wanted to sing the songs from the night before (which we didn't know!).

It is going to be a good and growing year for us all. I pray we are all more like the Lord at the end!

(Favorite quote from the night: As we were pulling into church Sarah said, "Thank you for bringing Josiah to AWANA." Precious!)


Sunday, September 15, 2013

What I've Been Reading Lately

I have always really enjoyed reading. As you might expect, the last three years of my life I haven't finished that many books, and I have learned to be alright with that. Thankfully, as my little ones grow I have been able to pick up books again (and actually read them . . . you wouldn't believe how many books I have checked out from the library, renewed, and still returned unread!). Here are some on my recent reads:

This jewel puts everything in perspective. It is important to remember the big picture in the little things of life!

Don't flip out- we aren't planning to fill a charter bus with kids! But these parents do know how to parent biblically and their life stories were instructive and encouraging. It read almost like a biography.
I learned to can this summer and this book (along with frantic calls to my mom!) walked me through it step by step.

My godly friend Lisa Lowery loaned this one to me and it is still rocking my world. Angie Smith has an amazing life story to share and has a solid perspective of the Lord's sovereignty. That is sometimes hard to figure out day in and day out!

I am thankful for the opportunity to read and hope that our children will catch a love of reading in our home!