Letting Go (aka, the point of parenting)

Sarah had her very first night of AWANA on Friday. It was parents night, so I got to stay for the first half of her class and Dave and Josiah met us when it was time to pick her up. This was a big day for Sarah, but it might have been an even bigger day for Dave and me.

This was the first time we left her at church. Now don't get me wrong, Sarah goes to nursery and Sunday School. She stays with babysitters every so often. And she loves it when other people put her to bed. But AWANA was different. This was the first time we left her under the instruction of someone else. She was expected to learn and be part of the group. She was on her own.

I have a confession: I was nervous, at least in part, for the wrong reasons. I wanted people to like the pastor's kid. I wanted them to think I have done a good job training her at home. I want them to like having her in their class. While she is a reflection on us, I can't put that pressure on her. I have to let her be.

I also have to let her go. Another confession, as we went into the classroom and Sarah sat down on a carpet square I sat next to my friend Jessica who is the mom of a second year cubbie (what they call the preschool children). And then I started to cry (and laugh, because I knew I was being a little ridiculous). I told her it was just a little overwhelming to be here and Sarah was growing up and I wasn't sure she was ready and I wasn't sure if I was ready but I knew I had to be ready because it was time. My sweet friend reassured me that I wasn't (too) crazy and that a few tears were normal.

I am learning to remember the big picture. We aren't training Sarah to be obedient and kind so that we can enjoy her forever. We are training her in the hopes that she will enjoy the Lord forever. And we make purposeful decisions about when and why to let her go. This year that means AWANA, a program that embraces the infallibility of Scripture and helps little ones hide the Word in their hearts. That is a good thing.

Sarah was excited about AWANA all summer and then a little nervous about it last week leading up to the big night. On Friday she was unsure, but never turned back. She kept squinting her eyes and pursuing her lips like she was being really thoughtful anytime someone spoke to her. Sweet thing was nervous and so brave. Precious :) By the end of the night she definitely felt in the club and like she was part of something special. She asked to wear her vest Saturday morning and wanted to sing the songs from the night before (which we didn't know!).

It is going to be a good and growing year for us all. I pray we are all more like the Lord at the end!

(Favorite quote from the night: As we were pulling into church Sarah said, "Thank you for bringing Josiah to AWANA." Precious!)